Meade Family Adoption

Natalie is 11 months old!!!!

2009-06-22T17:20:00.003-04:00

This past month has been full of activity. I have nearly had a break down during the long and difficult illness of my mamo Gertude. She has since gone to be with Jesus, which was really a blessing. I know that sounds terrible, but watching her deteriation daily was about more that I could take, and I know that she is now in Heaven and her new life and eternity has finally begun!!!! Praise be to God!!!

On a happier note we have booked our 1st vacation as a family of 5. We're going to Mayan Riviera, Mexico!!!! I've never been to Mexico, but man am I stoked!!! I am in desperate need of a vacation, unlike any other time in my life, so Mexico had better look out, cause here we come. We leave July 13th.

Our little princess Natalie has grown so much. She is now walking....yes walking. I know she's no bigger than a flea, but yes, she's walking. It's so cute. She started walking only 5 days ago and is now walking about 10ft at a time. She is so darn cute. We got some of her 1st steps on video and I'll try to get that posted on here soon. Once she figured out she could walk on her own, her whole personality seemed change. She immediately got so animated and engaged in everything around her. It seems that she feels that she can finally get involed with her surrounding more...I don't know. She just really blossomed immediately after she started walking. She will do something (make a sound or gesture) and wait for your reaction or you to mimic her. She will give kisses on demand which her daddy just loves. She has also developed a VERY strong dislike of strangers, and sometimes grandparents, which causes some great hurt in them!!!! But once she lets her little guard down again, man is she a papo getter. She's got both her papos wrapped right around her little finger. Papo JD (Eddie's dad) has found that Natalie likes fresh lemonade from a little resturant down the road, so he'll go buy her one and bring it to her. Did I mention Natalie is a little princess. Oh yeah, in the eyes of the papo's, she's the bomb diggidy!!! It's so cute.

Natalie is doing amazingly well, and we're so proud!!!!

Life Changing Events, and Changing Life Roles

2009-06-05T19:44:00.004-04:00

First off I want to say that I've really thought long and hard about writing this post. This blog is dedicated to Natalie and her adoption story, and her young life. I plan to have it published in a book at some point for her as a keepsake, a record of her 1st years. This post is not about Natalie, it is about my dad and his mother, my grandmother. I now pretty much know that Natalie will not get to know her grate grandmother when she is old enough to remember her, so maybe a record of what exactly is going on, and how it is changing our family may be a good thing for Natalie to have when she is older. So here it is.

My grandmother, Gertude Deel, has always been a very strong, very histoic person. When she was young...in her 20's, she would go and work with my grandfather in the coal mines. She would drive big trucks with huge logs loaded on it, something that was really frowned upon in the late 30's to early 40's. But she did what she had to do to help raise her family. She lost her son Arlet when he was only 6 months old, watched her oldest daughter suffer through polio, lost her next oldest son when he was 21 in the Vietnam war...only weeks before he was to be honorably discharged, and a younger son to drinking and driving in the early 80's. He was in his late 20's to early 30's. I'm not sure of his exact age. Mamo Gertude could out work most everyone I know, even in her 70's. I would go out to see her in the spring and summer only to find her somewhere working in her huge garden. Stubborn as a rock, hard as nails, she believed that children should be raised stictly, taught to "respect their elders". Since she was raised during the Depression, she would hoard food and keep things far past their expiration dates. I remember when Ashley was a little bitty thing, she'd go with my dad out to visit Mamo Gertude, and I'd send Ashley with her own personal packed lunch.....to keep her from eating any potentionally "spoiled" food. That's been a big "inside" joke of our family for years. And no matter how much you try to explain to Mamo how she needed to throw these things away, she just couldn't stand to be "wasteful". Mamo Gertude has always been a very tough person, and she's always been one to let the men of the family have the head of the house...she has much more respect for men than she does women, and more respect for boys than girls....so I guess our relationship hasn't always been the best, but I've always loved and admired her dearly...it just hasn't always been mutual.

This year my grandmother's health has taken a drastic turn for the worse. I've watched her go from complete independence to complete dependence. She has gone from living at home, to being bedbound and even unable to lift her arms, or help turn, or eat, or really anything. It started off with a bought of pneumonia, then generalized weakness and frequent falls, to a subdural hematoma and new onset Atrial Fib, to another bought of pneumonia, then a stroke which left her with right-sided paralysis and inability to swallow. She cannot even tolerate her own oral secretions and as I write this today I've made her status comfort care only. This past 3 months has been absolutely devastating. My family has chosen to make me her Power of Attorney for Medical Care, so it's been me to make all the decisions. That is really hard when some family live far away and is not aware of all that is happening, and really has a hard time understanding even when explained simply. I can really understand why too....they remember their mom as that strong willed, hard as nails mom they grew up with. Now I see her cling to my dad like a child would to their parent. So sad. I've watched this role reveral more times than I can count in my professional life, but to live through it is more than words can express. And my dad....he's always been so much like his mother, so strong, so strong willed, and never depend on anybody, and to be perfectly honest with you, not an emotional person at all. It has only been in the past couple years he would tell me he loved me or hug me. Now I watch him with his mother....absolutely to most precious thing I've ever seen. He pet on her like a parent would their own child, he tells her he's sorry and that he loves her. I've never seen my dad like this, and it really makes me proud of him. My dad has also grown very dependent upon me. When things are really going south as far as mamo's health, or problems with nurses, or hospitals in general....I'm not going into all that mess here, he calls me...sometimes as many times as 10-15 times a day. When I go out to visit with my mamo Gertude with my dad, he doesn't want me to leave and will go through great lengths to keep me around. Again, just heart-breaking to see that role reveral. My dad has always been my rock and I'm seeing him grow more and more dependent upon me. It's so much easier when it's not "your family". This by far has been the most difficult days of my life, and adjusting to the added stress of directing the care of my mamo Gertude, and having everyone so dependent upon me has really taken it's toll.

My dear Natalie, I want you to know that your Mamo Gertude is one of the strongest people I've ever known. You remind me a lot of her. I see that strength in you my dear. I only wish you'd came sooner, so you could have known her....as she truly was. But I know that in Heaven you will meet her one day, and I know you'll be as amazed and impressed by her as I always have.

Mamo Gertude, I love you, and until you take your last breath here on Earth, I promise you I'll take care of you the best that I can....I love you....

Something I learned today:

2009-05-14T10:35:00.002-04:00

I've loved music all my life. Music has always been very important to me, and many times I can pick up my mood just by listening to different music. Ashley has most definatly got my love for music as I see her listening to it as often as I did when I was her age. It really makes me happy to see her enjoy it so much. Now I have Natalie....and let me tell you she loves music too....but she's so much more selective. She looses interest ver easily in many songs that I adore. She loves the very rich melody kind. I've put my playlist on my blog....I pray I don't offend anyone with some of my selections, but all these songs and artist have been important to me in some point in my life, and remember that I wasn't a Christian in my early 20's. but back to Natalie, she truly adores only 2 songs on my playlist: There's the Girl by Heart, and Big Girls Don't Cry by Ferggie. Natalie loves, loves, loves very rich melodies and when I sing to her she requires me to really stretch my vocal cords to hold her attention. She has a very picky ear!!!! Oh but how I love that about her. I love that she is picky about music, it makes me wonder if she's going to really have a good ear for the best music when she gets older, or even has a musical talent of some sort.....Well have to wait and see I guess.

Oh, I'll have to update my playlist to get Natalie's favorites on there....this one is a little old....I'll do that later today.

Simply Amazing

2009-05-08T11:51:00.002-04:00

This past month has been filled with adventure. We now tend to forget completely that Natalie was adopted. When I take time to sit down and think about the way things have changed and literally blossomed over the past nearly 5 months, it's just mind boggeling, and reminds me that God IS still in control, and definely at work in our lives and in our home. I want to start this post off with saying...."My God Almighty, my Savior, my Father, my DADDY, I'm so glad I've given my life to You, without You, I simply make a mess of everything, but with You, my life is simply beautiful. It is because of You that I have the life I have, and all the wonderful, exciting, and sometimes even scary things, are because of You. You have a way of making the difficult things cause growth in my trust and focus on You, and the beautiful things just shine with Your presence. Thank You for Your presence in my life. I love You and am asking that you start to directing me in the next step of my servanthood in Your name.-Amen"

I'm going to try to share with you all that Natalie has learned this past month. The list is honestly so long, I'm not sure I'll be able to think of it all in one sitting. She now weighs 21 pounds 12 ounces and is 26 inches tall. She now crawls at a "sprint" pace, she is feeding herself using a pincher grasp....so cute. She loves cooked egg yokes and bananas pieces for breakfast. She pushes objects to walk behind them, she'll use a large diaper box, her high chair, just anything she can pull up to and make move. Natalie says momma and dadda differentially, she waves bye bye and says it, she is just starting to point, but hasn't learned to point at objects she wants yet. She dances and sings for herself. She plays peek-a-boo, I love that one. She has just become such a little round, squishy ball of fun, and we're enjoying every single second.

Natalie has finally became equally attached to her dad. That one took a while, and I found it very difficult to diligently work on that. I would leave her with Eddie while I was trying to get some things done around the house and she would cry everytime I'd walk by, wanting me to pick her up. But I'm happy to say that after some real work and being persisitent....with Natalie and Dad, she will play with him and let me do house work. That was really hard for Eddie to work through. I've always been the one to help Natalie work though the difficult stuff, and let her cry through things, and Eddie had a really hard time watching her cry for me and not just saying, "Kami, will you please just get her". But he's seen that a few days of fussing is really worth the end result. Natalie is a persistent little girl, and very determined, but she's learned that she like her daddy's attention, and he definately is eating it up. I even left the house all day yesterday and volunteered at the kid's Christian school as a substitute teacher. Eddie had to even take Natalie to work with him for a staff meeting. Natalie done fantastic and of course was the star of the show. Eddie gained confidence in his ability to care for her alone, and I know now that Natalie will be just fine if I leave her with him for me to go out and do things alone---wow, that'll be fun!!! It seems like forever that I've done anything without Natalie on my hip.

Natalie has proven to be so different that my 2 older kids. She is so active, she is so curious, or should I say into EVERY thing, she climbs onto anything she can get those short legs on, she love to be "rough-housed", she loves to be spun around and around, she love to do "baby flips", and these are the things that make her laugh out loud. Ashley and Josh would have been terrified of the things that just make Natalie cackle. I always knew she was going to be a little dare-devil, oh how my nightmares have just begun, I'm sure. I've also always said that she'll be my little gymnist, and sure enough, Natalie will sit in the floor with her little legs stretched out to each side and then she'll lay down flat with her stomach and face completely flat on the floor. She is an amazing little girl, she's growing so fast!!! I know that I need to be sure I'm relishing in every second that I have cuddeling with her, because those days will be short-lived.

Natalie is awake from her nap, so I'll post pictures this weekend.

Illness has struck!!!!

2009-04-13T10:47:00.003-04:00

This has been a rough month!!!! Someone has been sick every single week with the exception of last week. It actually started in Feb. and has just gotten worse with the last episode being with Natalie having bilateral ear infections and antibiotics---yuck. The week prior to that she had the stomach virus----double yuck, and Josh had a bad cold, and the week prior to that Ashley was sick with a cold. I honestly didn't sleep for about 3 weeks. It got so bad that our pastor saw us at church the day we took Natalie to the ER and she had a fever of 102, and was put on antibiotics, he called me on Tuesday to check on me. He's never done that before, but I honestly looked like death warmed over--worse than when I got back from Ethiopia!!!!! Then last week I had a tooth to break off and had to have a root canal....that was nothing compared to the weeks prior though. Today, we are all well, and I am just praying that nobody picked up anything at church yesterday or at Granny's house. Yesterday was Easter, and we had a wonderful day. Josh looked so handsome in his new suit, and Natalie and Ashley was so beautiful in their dresses. I'll try to post pictures of that very soon.

Natalie is gowing up so fast. She can cruise around furniture...what furniture she can reach that is. She is making new sounds every day it seems like. She's so much fun. At church yesterday, she was singing with the choir, but louder....and they were on microphones. She tried to preach the sermon with pastor Mike, but again, louder, and he too was on a microphone. Embarassing and funny. I love it. But when she was sick....not fun at all. She was not her normal fun-loving self. I'm so glad to have my happy girl back.

Josh finally lost a tooth---I say that because he's seemed to hang on to all those baby teeth for an exceptionally long time. Eddie had to pull it when I wasn't here. Oh, I can't take pulling teeth, I'll pass right out every time.

I haven't taken any photos lately, but here is some I took in March.

Saturday Morning Breakfast

2009-03-14T10:52:00.003-04:00

Well, all you moms who are stickler about your babies eating nothing but good 'ol healthy food,and cringe at the thought of giving them really fattening sweets you might not want to read this post.....but all you laid back moms like I've become read on.....

This morning was one of those mornings that you get up to fix breakfast and the cabinets are bare....there's no food to be found, at least not the healty kind we generally eat. So what now????? Good 'ol fashoned soutern style fried apple pies. Oh how we love fried apple pies. We only eat them on rare occassion, so they are an especially wonderful treat, but not too healthy for breakast, I know. But we do make our pies out of organic apples we can here at home every fall, so that's a plus. My Josh loves apple pies, he calls them "personal pies", he's so cute. And yes, Natalie absolutely loves them too. She will fight you for a fried apple pie. Josh learned the hard way this morning not to leave that last little bit in your plate in floor with Natalie near by...not even for a second. He stepped away for just a minute to came back to Natalie holding his beloved pie with both hands, going at it with all she's got. That was a priceless moment!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and Josh has a pie joke for you..... "What side of a pie is the left side?"..... "The side you haven't eatten". My funny boy..... He's the best.

My baby girl is 8 months old!!!.....What's she up to?

2009-03-12T13:57:00.006-04:00

Oh my, my baby girl is crawling,,,,,the day the turned 8 months old, she crawled for the 1st time!!!!!!!!!!!! Today, she can crawl around anywhere she wants. Horray Natalie, you're growing up so very fast.....too fast for mommies liking. Natalie has also found out she can make mad noises....you know.....she's not at all crying, she's fussing.....majorly......fists clenched, and "growling". It's so darn funny. She's also attempting to pull up to things. Natalie, darlin', mommy is so very proud of you. You are an amazing little girl.....and very determined. I cherish every single second with you. Our days at home together are as precious as any jewel. God IS SO VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going on with Life

2009-03-07T09:46:00.003-05:00

Well, this past month has made all the difference in the world in our home. Natalie is finally what I would call completely settled in. She will now play on the floor alone, she goes to sleep by herself, and I have atleast a new "normal" life. Praise the Lord. After 2 entire months of sitting in our big recliner holding her in my arms and after more than a week of listening to her cry because I wasn't holding her, she finally realizes that I'm not leaving her, that she can play in the floor alone, she can sleep in her crib, and yes, she can go to sleep on her own. That last thing was totally new to me....I'd NEVER put my big kids to bed ALONE, and let them go to sleep ALONE. I've always been the mommy that wanted the very attached children.....but Natalie would take any sane person over the edge. She would only go to sleep in her bouncy seat, and if I got up out of THE CHAIR, she instantly woke up and cried, and no she would not go back to sleep. So after I finally figured out that it WAS OK for her to cry, I began putting her in her crib, turning on the big box fan, and let her cry it out on her own. She also would not sit alone in the floor....at all. So there we had to let her cry it out too. Man, that was a hellish 2 weeks. Pardon my language, but there is no other way to describe it. I honestly thought I was loosing my mind.

Now, I'm so very proud to tell you that Natalie is a very good baby. She'd still prefere that I carry her most of the time, and I do a great deal, because I like it too, but I am able to clean my house, ride in the car with out her screaming the entire way, spend some time with the older kids, and Natalie is okay. I am so very proud of her, and of myself for helping her though that rough time. Praise God!!!!!!

Natalie is also much more independent.....when she came home she was 5 months old and couldn't pick up a toy and bring it too her mouth. Her hand-eye coordination was not good at all. She also couldn't roll over---either way. But Josh didn't roll over either. I think that due to her breathing problems she had before, she simply couldn't breath well enough to be on her stomach. But today, she is rolling over, both ways, she will get onto her knees from lying on her belly, she can rock back and forth on all 4's, and sit up from that position. It's awesome. But I'm loosing my little baby so fast. She can say 3 words, dada was her 1st during her
6th month, mum mum (mom mom)and bub bub (Josh) just this past month. Let me tell you, you've never seen a prouder big brother than Josh was when she said bub bub. Now sissy (Ashley) is so darn jealous. It's so precious to see how much they adore their little sister.

I am loving being a stay at home mom. It's a blessing and an honor and something that I never take for granted. But I have to share with you that we are having some financial difficulties and I ask that you help us to pray about those, that God can take care of it all in his own way. I really don't want to go back to work. I am a much better mommy when I don't have the stress of my job to deal with too. For those of you who don't know, I'm an ER nurse besides a mommy. I love my job, but it is very emotionally tiring. Eddie is still going to school full time besides working, so it's very hard on him too. He'll finish up his bachelor's degree in Nursing this May.. he's an ER nurse too, and is planning to go to Vanderbilt University this fall to obtain his master's degree, and will be a Nurse Practicioner by May of 2011. He will have to go to school on student loans to complete this last part, but already has a physician that will pay those off for us if Eddie will work in his ER for 3 years. What a blessing it will be to get those loans paid off, but we have to get approved for the loans first. So we would greatly appreciate your prayers as we work through all this. With the worsening economy, the hospital where Eddie works has cut out all the overtime, and that has caused us to fall short on our monthly budget, so it's definately not been easy for us. Thanks in advance for your prayers.

I'll post some pictures this week. We've had a tough couple weeks. We've recently had a death in the family---my uncle who had terminal throat cancer went to be with Jesus last week, and my grandmother has been in the hospital and is now home, but is on oxygen all the time.---Both my uncle and grandmother are/were smokers.....so anyone out there that smokes, or has family that does.....well, you know they need to quit.

Home for nearly 2 months

2009-02-04T14:28:00.010-05:00

DDR anyone???

I really do like going to the park....

No, I didn't eat mommy's ice cream sandwich!!!!!!

OK, maybe I did eat her ice cream sandwich

Yes, I know I'm beautiful.

Who turned out the lights????

Where did everybody go????

My "sink bath"

Don't be lookin' at my fat rolls!!!!!!!

Dad, did you put me some Dr. Pepper in this cup????
Yes dad, of course I like the Yankees, now get me some Dr. Pepper!!!!

Hey, I said don't be lookin' at my fat rolls!!!!!!!

Bananas, I didn't see any bananas

Mommy putting in my first "pretties"

Me and my sweet grate granny

Me sleeping in my bouncy seat

I love my baby doll

Well, if I were to tell you that this has been the easiest 2 months ever, I'd be lying....Natalie came home a very fussy baby. Now that she's been home for a while now and we've watched her personality blossom, I can honestly tell you that she really did have a rough time with adjustment. She cried more than she did anything else the first 2 weeks. After that, I honestly just could not put her down or leave her side. I went through grieving my freedom....I honestly really couldn't put her down. I grieved not getting to spend time with my other 2 kids, with my husband, and not having time to eat, let alone take a shower. So, the 1st 2 months have really not been easy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I can also honestly say that things are getting easier. Natalie is now only awake 1-2 times at night, yes, she still sleeps with me, and will let me put her down for about 30 minutes now. She has grown very comfortable in her new home and with her family. She obvioustly knows that we are her forever family. She smiles all the time and laughes so easily. She now doses off to sleep easily and wakes up to give everyone a big smile and coos. We are so blessed. Through our hardship, we've learned so much about our new little girl, and we know that she is meant to be here...in OUR family. Natalie, what a blessing it is to know you so intimately, thank you for teaching us all about you.

Things that I've learned about Natalie so far
Here is what Natalie has told me:
I love to take a bath
I love to splash the water
I love my big brother and sister
I love to sing and be sung to
I'm happiest in the mornings
I'm very flexible!!!!!!!!!!!
I love to play
I love to be close to my mommy
I know my name is now Natalie
I love to eat what mommy's eating
I can sit quietly and get my hair done
I love to look at pictures
I love to be read to
I love the color red
I love my bouncy seat
I hate to be alone
I hate getting my new earrings cleaned
I hate getting dressed

On Natalie's 6 month old birthday we got her ears pierced. Wow, that was tough. I dreaded it so bad. We went to Claire's where Ashley got her ears pierced a long time ago, and they were able to do both ears at once. She screamed about 20 seconds and then was just fine. Her big, protective brother was completely against the whole idea, and yes, he was with us. He said, "Your're not really going to do this to her are you?" When I said, "yes dear, we are", he was VERY upset with me. Once I sat down in the seat with Natalie in my lap, ready to get the "dirty deed" done, he stood in front of her to hold her hand, but just as they were getting ready to put the earrings through, he stepped away, and said, "I just can't watch". Oh what a great big brother you have Natalie. I think he cried more than Natalie did.

Our second doctors visit has now came and gone. Natalie was so excited to be at the doctor's office. All the staff have to come out and see her one at a time and make over her. She loves it because they don't overwhelm her. But then they had to bring out the needles, she then didn't like those people very much. She gained nearly 4 pounds, yes, nearly 4 pounds in the 5 weeks between her appointments. 3 pounds, 8 ounces to be exact, and grew 1 inch. She's definately became quite a little chunk.

She also knows who her family is. She wont let anyone hold her but our immediate family: only mom, dad, bubby and sissy, can hold her. I love attachment!!!!!!!!!! What a blessing this past two months have been and what great time I've had reliving it in this post. Hope you all enjoy it half as much as I have.

Blessings to you all!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-06T07:16:00.002-05:00

Gotcha day-----December 8, 2008

2008-12-18T21:19:00.002-05:00

Yes, we are officially back from Ethiopia and have our precious daughter home, for a week now----wow, so hard to believe it's been a week. We left for Ethiopia on December 6th, and boy what a long plane ride it was to get to Ethiopia...a grueling 27 hours, and with all that pent up excitement and raw emotion, not an easy trip over there. Dear hubby came down with a case of nervous diarrhea the he just knew was the stomach flu, but it wasn't just nerves, like I told him it was!!!!!!LOL. We traveled with 7 other families, all great families that I enjoyed getting to know so much and miss them lots. After arriving in Addis Ababa, we were all so weary. We were taken to the hotel by bus, our luggage was unloaded and we were tucked in for the night. Did we sleep????? Are you kidding?????? There was no way I could sleep knowing that my baby girl was little more than a block away. The next morning-----December 8th, 2008, we got up, was met at the hotel by Almaz, and finished our paper work. Almaz is completely awesome guys, I adore this woman!!!!!!!!, then it was time to go meet my little girl. We all went to Hannah's Hope as a group and stood out in the driveway and got to watch as each family met their precious child and children. 3 families met their babies, then some one came to me and Eddie and said---Tigist is upstairs asleep....Asleep, oh no, I want to hold her!!!! I can barely remember going upstairs, I was so exicted, so nervous, just completely overwhelmed with emotion. 2 of the people I just witnessed getting their precious children were very dear people in my life, I was completely moved by what I had just saw, and now it was my turn, but she was asleep. How was that going to go? We got upstairs, walked over to her tiny crib, and there she was, resting so peacefully. She was absolutely beautiful, she took my breath away. After standing there in complete awe, she woke up, looked up at us and smiled so big, as if to say, Hi mom and dad, it's about time you get here. She never cried, only smiled and cooed. Then we had to leave her there, to go eat lunch and go shopping....SHOPPING..... I hate shopping....I just wanted to stay with my girl. But we left and I couldn't think of anything besides going back to get my little girl. At 5:30 that day, Ethiopian time, we took her to the hotel with us, she will never be an orphan again, she will never live another day in an orphanage.----Praise be to our Holy God--------
Our time at the Union Hotel was so special. We all 3 just hung out, did what ever we felt like----which was mostly nothing----- and bonded with Natalie Tigist Grace Meade.

During our trip to Ethiopia we met Natalie's birth mom. I will leave that info confidential, but I can tell you it was difficult, but well worth the heart ache. We also got to bond with the other families, and Eddie and I spent some much needed time together. The plane ride home was again torture, but we survived.

We've been home a week now. I can tell you that Natalie's breathing has improved. She wheezed a lot in Ethiopia, but not so much now. She's growing like a weed, but is very short for her age---she takes that after me, LOL. She found her feet yesterday, is sitting up on her own some, and grasping things and bringing them to her mouth better. I started her on cereal today, I hope it helps her sleep better at night. She sleeps in 2 hour interval, and gets up for bottles at that time. We definately hope that gets better. I know that she would rather for me to hold her all the time than to be put down, she stares at me when someone else holds her, and I think she reached for me today, at least I like to think she did. We are having so much fun getting to know her. She definately has us wrapped around her little finger, and is definately running this house right now.

My prayers now are for continued good bonding and attachment, good health and happiness, many prayers for Hannah's Hope and Almaz----such a great orphanage, and for Natalie's birth mom. We feel that she is now part of our family and love her so much.

What a pleasure it is to finally post about our gotcha day, and bringing our little girl home. People are asking if we're going to have any more new additions to the family. We honestly don't know, can't really see that far ahead right now. But know that we have our ears open to God's will and would gladly walk in complete faith again, no matter where He calls us....

I leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs....Our God is an awesome God He reigns from Heaven above, with wisdom, power, and love, our god is an awesome God.

Thank you all for your diligent prayers as we've walked this path, and I look forward to continuing to share pictures and stories of our little family.

Our baby Natalie

2008-12-18T21:13:00.000-05:00

So much to catch up on

2008-12-16T19:20:00.002-05:00

Well, I haven't posted in a month. So much has happened in this past month, it is just mind boggling. Yes, we passed courts, and we got our travel dates. I'll give you one guess as to where I was when I got that call----yealp, I was at work, can you belive it---I'm always at work when Julie calls with big news. I was working up on 4th floor, having a pretty good day. I went down to get lunch and was getting off the elevator on 4th floor to go to the break room and eat when my phone rang. I looked down at it and it was Julie. I froze for a few seconds and finally answered with a "UUUMMMM, hello". Yes, I was so scared it was bad news, but it wasn't!!!!! Julie says, "Are you ready to go pick up your baby?" OH MY GOSH!!!!! We traveled Dec. 6th to 12th. What a trip and what a time we are having with our new little one. I'll post pictures and such when I get them all organized. I cant wait to fill up this blog with her beautiful face. More later!!!!!!

Tagged

2008-11-14T20:09:00.003-05:00

I got tagged!!!!!!!! This picture is from my 4th file, and is the 4th picture in that file. It is of ME, horray, it's a crummy picture of me with "lovely" naturally curly hair. I hate my hair that way. But this was taken in El Salvador on my 1st mission trip. I am in the make shift clinic which was really the Sunday school area at the little church we attend in El Salvador. This clinic was much nicer than the last one we served in. As you may be able to see, we had actual walls here. Our last mission trip our clinic only had corrigated tin and cardboard boxes for walls. I am treating a patient, not sure what her ailment was. We treated over 400 people during that particular week that we were there. You can also see medicines behind me, that is our "makeshift" pharmacy. All those medicines was donated to us by several different drug companies. That was an awesome, life changing trip. I made many lifelong friends in a different culture and they are people I consider as my family.----Gosh, I miss it there.

I don't know who to tag, so if you haven't been tagged and your reading this, YOU'RE it!!!!!!

Court date

2008-11-13T14:19:00.002-05:00

Our court date is tomorrow, well tonight our time. I've prayed so hard all week. I have a headache today, I think it is from praying and meditating so hard on God's word. I want to hold my little girl so bad. I worry about her health. I'm not sure what has happened as far as her health goes since she was in the hospital last month. I wonder if she'll need some specialized care, if we'll have to take a nebulizer to Ethiopia, I have no idea what is going on. I just pray that God carries me through the next several days until we know if we got through courts successfully or not. Bethany's baby Liam's case is being heard tomorrow to. I pray that we both get through this time and get to travel and get our babies before Christmas. Oh man, would that not be the most awesome answered prayer there is.

God, pour out your blessing on us tonight please.

Sheer sadness

2008-10-30T13:47:00.002-04:00

I got an update yesterday, not a good one. I get asked everyday at work "Have you heard anything about the baby". What a blessing it is to work with people who care so much about our adoption. The update yesterday has devastated me. We found out yesterday that there are some changes in the court systems and our travel will most likely be delayed. How much of a delay? Who really knows. I sat at my desk here at home and listened to Julie tell me all that was going on in complete silence....I just could not believe what I was hearing, I couldn't think, I couldn't hardly breath, it was everything I could do to keep from bawling on the phone. So I wished her well as she travels to Ethiopia, hung up the phone, sat down, and just sat there, staring off into space, just trying to process all that I had just heard... How long will we have to wait before I hold my precious daughter, and my worsest fear is not ever having her home at all. How could I let myself fall so in love with a picture and a hope. I am a nurse, I deal with tragedy every day. I'm a realist, hard as nails, can be a... "that attitude will not fly in this ER" nurse, a real bad a*# when I need to be. How have I let my heart get so vulnerable?

Well, I was just sitting in my chair when my husband came home from work. I got up and told him about the entire conversation with Julie and then the bawling let loose. I am still a complete mess. And my greatest fear is still....what if this little girl I love so very much is never mine? Now I am having to accept the fact that my girl will not spend her first Christmas with us, and we won't be with her. All the day dreams I've had about sitting and holding her while we open presents won't happen this year. I may not get to travel with Bethany, I've gotten so close to her, and it just breaks my heart to think we won't share getting our precious babies together.

"God, I pray that you give me the strength to endure this wait. Not knowing when it will end is almost unbearable. I know that you are with me, please pick me up and carry me, because my legs are so tired I just can't hardly walk this path anymore".

Guys, today is my daughter's 16th birthday. I have waited 16 years to celebrate this day with her, please pray that my spirits will lift and I can be a happy mommy for her.

Good bye Summer!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-20T20:15:00.002-04:00

This weekend we went down to the park and enjoyed the beautiful sun and fall colors. We had a great time, but we all know that this is one of the last few days of warm weather left and the cold, dreary days of winter are right around the corner. But that also means that our baby girl will be home. Oh how I feel sorry for her leaving such a warm enviornment and coming to our long, cold winters in Southwestern Virginia. We'll have to bundle her up good when we get her home!!!!

Package to our baby

2008-10-20T19:56:00.006-04:00

This is the package we're sending to our baby girl. Oh how I wish I could fit into that gallon zip lock bag. I have kissed every item that went into that bag (am I crazy?). The scripture idea I got from Autumn's nursery, by the way Autumn, your nursery is so beautiful!!!! It is embrodered and I prayed for our baby girl the whole time I worked on it. What a joy it was to put this together. It'll be in the mail to AGCI tomorrow!!!!!!!!

El Salvador Mission Trip

2008-10-18T14:13:00.003-04:00

I know this is supposed to be a blog about our adoption, but OH WELL, it's my blog and my mind is in El Salvador today. I miss it so bad. El Salvador is definately my 2nd home. This is a picture of me with some girls I played jump rope with during our last trip down there. As you can see, I'm in my scrubs because my main role there is providing medical care. There isn't a lot of time for play but I do manage to get out of the clinic for a few minutes and just go play with the kids. That is really what I enjoy about these trips. The lady in the back with the pink shirt is one of the ladies from the church we attend while we are there. She is an amazing woman and makes out of this world papusas. Our church is preparing for another trip to El Salvador in January. We will not be able to go as we feel that our baby Natalie wil be home, or will be home soon after, praying for the 1st option!!!! But my 16 yo daughther Ashley will be going, her 1st trip there, and I won't be going with her. Okay, that is still a scarry thought and we've been planning for her to go for a couple months now. But she is going to serve God and feels she is lead to go. I don't know of a better thing for her to choose to do. Below is a picture of a beautiful corn field. This is a community corn field where most people there get their corn for tortillas from this one field. There isn't very much land so everyone has to share this field.

Reflection

2008-10-03T10:30:00.000-04:00

As our adoption process has went on, I have learned a great many things. It has been an incredible time of growth in my abiltiy to be patient. I have never been a very patient person, I absolutely HATE surprises, birthdays, Christmas, because I don't like to wait, and I hate not to have control. Well, let me tell you that if you desperately need help in these area, like I did, just start on this wonderful journey called international adoption. I have learned not to be in control of every situation, and there is NO room for impatience. I am so grateful to my Lord that he has called our family to take on this feat. I am now mmmuuuuccccchhhhh more patient, and don't mind so much not being in control. I have complete peace in my heart with this entire process. Earlier on, especially with waiting for our referral, I was not so OK. Not knowing where my baby girl was, if she was being cared for, if she was cold, hungry, alone, or even born, was most definately the hardest part for me. But now I know who she is, I know where she is, and I know that she is being cared for, it's so much easier. I of course think about her every waking moment, and long to hold her in my arms, kiss her beautiful face and tell her how much I love her, but that will come in time, in God's time. I know that God is preparing my husband and I's hearts for this upcoming trip to Ethiopia. We will meet her birthmother, and I know that is going to be so hard. So, yeah, God is definately preparing our hearts for that. Our mission trips to El Salvador have been such heart opening experiences for us, I can't imagine how just the TRIP alone will change our hearts and lives, let alone having this new wonderful little girl as our own.

Lord, I praise your Holy name, you are a wonderful God. I'm so glad and thankful that you brought us on this journey. Not only are we gaining this wonderful new family member, but we've grown as YOUR children as well. Nothing can be better than that. Thank you for loving my family enough to choose us to go on this journey with you.

Amen.

It finally happened

2008-09-18T09:45:00.000-04:00

God never fails to amaze me. On September 16 we recieved our referral. So you're saying, okay it was on September 16, big deal, right? Well, September 15 is Eddie and Joshua's birthday. Months ago my sweet husband starts saying in a joking way, "Well get our referral on my birthday". Well, our referral was actually in the office of AGCI on THE 15th!!!! My husband's dumb luck!!!!!!

Our new little girl is just amazing. Her birthday is July 10th, she is 10 weeks old today. She is the most beautiful little girl in the world. Before our referral came I had so many anxieties and I had very long conversations with God about all these. I so wanted a little baby. I just worry about bonding so much after a child is over 6 months old, so I would tell God this everyday. I would worry that I wouldn't think she was cute, that I wouldn't fall in love with her picture. So many stupid things went through my mind, I'm almost ashamed. But let me tell you, God took care of all my worries. I love this little girl I've never touch just as much as I do my 2 biological kids. She is my whole world, and she is truly mine in everyway I can think of. We serve such an awesome God, and I've said this for a long time, but he in all honesty hears every concern we have. I know that with all my heart, because as stupid as all my concerns were, He cared for every one of them.

I so want to post a picture of her on this blog. She is our famiy too. Oh, I can't wait to get that little girl home........ Come on court date.

Almost there!!!!

2008-08-22T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well, its been a very long time since I've posted, but lots has happened. We are currently # 4 on our agency's waiting list!!!!!!!!!! It seems like it has taken forever, but we're getting there. I dream about our baby girl in Ethiopia every night even though I have no idea where she is or what she looks like. I pray for her every day, nearly every second. Josh and Ashley are so excited to. We're buying small things for her to help us to keep focused, ---this is really going to happen. I just pray that we will soon see her face. COME ON REFERRAL!!!!!!

2007-12-28T19:31:00.001-05:00

We are currently in the process of adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia. We have have our paperwork filled our, and are waiting for our home study agency to get it all typed up and ready to send off. We are so excited, and of course nervous about this entire process. We want it all to be over with NOW. But we also realize that this is all part of the process and time for our Lord to work in our hearts and call us closer to Him. He is teaching us patience, boy that's a hard lesson for me, I'm super impatient. But we know this hurry up and wait game will be over soon. We just have to Be Patient.